wishful thinking

Been thinking for these past few days heavily for my future. Suddenly I forgot about other things in life. 

Three words are swimming in my head - stay, move or change. Currently getting feedbacks  from my close friends what to decide. It's not yet the end, but somehow am getting confused everyday.

If I stay, I don't know how long will I be able to get it. If I move, then I have to go on a different route. If I change, I will start anew.

I actually doesn't mind changes coz I know that time will come that I need to do it and I'm still waiting for "that" time. A few more months, hopefully they will choose me, fingers crossed.

For the first and second, I'm just waiting for some sign before I decide. Stay or move.

Spent atleast three hours floating alone in the pool to think. Just realized it's already dark and I need to get back to my room. 

Had a girls out last sat with Anna and Jaq. I actually had a fit with Jaq on the morning coz I got so pissed off to many things. Anyway, I set aside all that greeny hulk feeling coz I don't want to ruin our day.

I definitely enjoyed our day coz I missed doing those girly stuffs that we used to do. I don't know why, but a lot of things changed. Felt like I'm stucked here in dso doing nothing but gaining a lot of weight.

Currently chatting with Alma. I miss this girl very much.We've been apart for 12 years yet we talked like we haven't seen each other for a few months only.

I missed my friends. I missed my family. I missed my life.

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I wish I can go on a trip. A long journey or just a short vacation.

We're planning to go to Jordan or Turkey or Georgia or Sri Lanka or Doha. I also wanted to visit my sister in Canada though it seems impossible. I also like to see the cherry blossoms bloom on the parks of Japan. Or go eat barbeques and kimchi in Seoul. Or have a chat while sipping coffee at Starbucks with Alma in New York. See Mickey Mouse and friends in Hongkong. Or see the land of Gods, Greece. Or just spend my day listening to my mom's stories in Manila.

I honestly wanted to visit a lot of places. If only I have enough money and time.