Wednesday, June 10, 2015

what is writing to me

I always thought that as when time goes by, I’ll become a good writer. The ones who can write stories that can captivate the interest of the readers. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as what I envision it to be.
They say there are two kinds of people – those who think they can write and those who think they can’t write. But the truth is, most of us fall somewhere in the middle. We are capable of producing a good writing or at least a better writing, somewhere, somehow.
If you will ask me, my head is always full of ideas. Random, crazy and sometimes intellectual ideas. But whenever I try to put it in writing, I became lost for words. Too lost that I can’t express nor start my story.
And I know that becoming a good writer won’t happen overnight, and not just because you want it. It needs some work and more practice. As they say, anyone who writes is a writer, but it doesn’t mean that they are a good one. Ouch!
Back when I was in high school, I remember I have friends who writes very well. And I had fun reading their writings. Later on, someone showed me the book “Diary of Anne Frank”. Somehow, that inspires me to write as well. It’s the kind of book in which it was written in a way that will hook up your interest. So I thought, it must be fun to write a diary. That time, I’m lucky to have friends that encouraged me to try to write. No matter how trivial it is. Blogs are not yet popular that time, so keeping a personal diary is the least thing I can do. Jotting down everything that I can think of. Didn’t care whether my English is not that good. Now looking back at my own writings, I found them funny and amusing at the same time. Taking me back to my youthful days. Remembering the details of past experiences brought back memories that were somehow forgotten in time.
It was in late 2004 when I got introduced to Xanga by my friend and there I met several people online and begun to read their writings about their daily lives. It was actually pretty good as they became so familiar to me like I do really know them in person. Their writings brought us closer, I came to know whatever they did that day, whether something or someone made them happy nor sad. Just then, I too begun writing my daily musings. Short, stupid posts but I never cared. It totally became my online diary as I became lazy to keep a personal diary anymore. I had my Xanga account for years but totally abandoned it, I think my last post was three years ago when I confessed a dirty secret on it, haha.
Last time when I went back for a short vacation in Manila, we went to a bookstore to buy a planner for my mom as she needs to keep track of her BP. I looked through the selection of diaries that they were selling and noticed that the choices became limited unlike before. Well, I can’t blame them for that as nowadays people prefer to keep blogs to record their lives on social media rather than making an effort to write down the experiences using a pen and notebook. And I’m one of those people.
However nowadays, I prefer to read than to write. I can spend my whole day reading various blogs, mangas, stories whether it is fiction or based on reality, recipes, histories and so on.
And I realized that though I resigned from my previous jobs five times already, I still can’t write a good resignation letter. And worst, I never left a copy for myself so I can use as a future reference. So it means every time I decided to resign, I always search over the internet a good resignation letter sample and rewrite just like it my own. Silly me.
Well, I guess it’s still not too late to restart writing again. More peanuts and other brain boosters to enhance my way of thinking, teehee…

Monday, June 08, 2015

reality check

For some weird reason, I totally forgot the rest of my target this year. I mean, as what I remember, it should be five. But how come I only remember four? Searched my notes, planner, e-diary – cannot find anything as somehow I didn’t wrote it down as I don’t want other people to know and later on everything will be jinxed.
So now am racking my brain, but still unlucky. Are those peanuts I ate did not help me at all and only gave me breakouts? Grrrr…
Read a blog the other day and it hits the spot. It was actually helpful knowing that soon my age will not be in the calendar anymore. Took notes of them as reference:
1.     Start saving for retirement now, not later
·         Educating yourself is the key – learn to understand boring things such as insurance, mortgage and investments
·         Starting early is a big factor – I actually want to regret not doing it during my early 20s. The 10 years that passed will make a big difference. It’s not like I wanted to spend my whole life living with paycheck to paycheck until my retirement
2.     Don’t invest in anything you don’t understand
·         A lot people asking you to join this and that – do not trust and make your own investigation. Otherwise, you can consult people that have expertise or have experience on it.
3.     Pay all your debt as soon as possible
·         This should be a top priority – keeping away from those shiny, tempting credit cards is a key factor. Some says that if your debt is more than 10% of your gross annual salary, it is a huge red flag, aww!
4.     Keep an emergency fund
·         I read somewhere that it should be the equivalent of three times your salary (which is somehow quite hard for someone with filial responsibilities)
·         Being ready in case some unfortunate event happen – e.g. job loss. Coz you cannot foresee what might happen like when your career suddenly took a worst turn.
5.     Start taking care of your health
·         I am guilty of not taking good care of my body and now it’s showing. I’m continuously aging and it’s hard to accept that truth. Damn those fats! 
·         Previously I can’t imagine myself making appointments with the doctor, coz the idea of doctors and hospitals scares me to death. But managed to do it – twice.
·         Collagen? Badly needed it now. Should I start eating chicken feet?
·         Eat more veggies – eventhough it’s like a torture
·         Sleep better – ahmmmmm….
·         Exercise – weeeeeeell…. I will, I’ll try some zumba moves.
6.     Don’t spend time with people who don’t treat you well
·         Who cares if you’re alone? Atleast it’s much better to be alone rather than with someone who will make you feel miserable, right? Respect for yourself dude, respect. Don’t tolerate those intolerable people, period
·         They say who you hang out with changes your life (for good or bad). They are somewhat major influences in you. So stay away from miserable people, coz they will consume and drain you, unless you want to be miserable yourself. Instead, surround yourself with people who will bring out the better version of you.
7.     Be good to people you care about
·         It’s not a bad thing to spend more time with the oldies – coz we don’t know what might happen in the future. I may not be there everyday with them, but constant chat messages with my mom and sisters are like bridges to each other. Even if messages are sometimes silly and full of line stickers
·         I realized how short our life is whenever I think of what happened to my mom. I was there, we were there. I feel guilty everytime I thought of that moment coz I never saw how serious her condition that time, I was more focused on playing online games. How dense I am to pretend nothing is wrong. That what's in front of me is not real. How scared I am when she suddenly turned into someone whom I am unfamiliar with.
8.     You can’t have everything so better to focus on doing few things really well
·         Reality check, not everyone is good in everything. So instead of being prisoned in a delusion, might well focus in a more realistic things that I know am capable of.
9.     Don’t be afraid to take risks
·         It is not too late to change. Being in the age bracket of 30s not the end of your life. Live your life the way you wanted it to be.
·         You can still think outside of the box. There’s no harm in getting yourself out of your comfort zone, coz you’re not supposed to be there forever. That will be toooo boring.
·         Career change? Why not! Do what you think will be good for you, inshallah!
·         Taking risks will help you to further your growth and self-development. A few courses will do, who cares if they do call you “ate” now?
10.   Travel while you can
·         The experience you will get, super worth it.  You’ll remember odd experiences like begging to total strangers to change your whole notes coz you can’t buy a train ticket in Paris as it’s only accepting coins in the machine, or being frugal and let six people crammed in one car just to have a free tour, or getting lost in the middle of nowhere without any manual maps as you depend on your gps navigator which fails to work in the middle of your trip and the list goes on…   
There are actually  few more however, became too lazy to write it.  So, I'll just end it here now.