today - updated

As much as I hate to admit, but I tend to lash out when am mad. And I can't help not to do it otherwise I'll go crazy.

I sort of sometimes wanted some attention and affection (ksp lang ang peg) but most of the time, people misinterpret it and totally left me alone. The exact opposite of what am expecting. And too bad am not that good in expressing myself.

Sometimes I wonder when did I become so slow to know things. Am I really slow or I just don't care to look into details?

I remember when I was a kid, my mom bought us coin banks. I like the one given to my sister so I asked her to exchange it with me. She doesn't want to and I went berseck and I lash out on everything. When my mom found out about it, she destroyed my coin bank (in which now that I think of it, it is much cuter than hers coz it's more like a glass in violet color) and I was left with nothing. That was the first time I learned how to value what was given to me no matter what it is and be contented with it. 

Hmmm... The other other night am so so mad I was supposed to throw momo in the garbage chute. I was about to open the chute when I looked into him and suddenly remembered how happy I am when I first have him. And looking closely, I saw that he was all dusty and dirty. How he got ignored for so long, I dunno exactly. Tears welled up in my eye and I felt stupid standing there with tears in my eyes and a bear in my hand. In the end, I couldn't do it. Eventhough a lot of people saying he looked scary coz he's black, I still love him. This is an exemption in my lash out moments.

Today... I spent my whole day splurging my precious money. It was way too late when I realized I shoudn't do that. I should be saving for my vacation. But I'm way too stressed over so many things I dunno know whats the right outlet to release it.

I'm losing my appetite and my allergies are coming out like crazy. Very good timing, just when I was about to go for vacation that I had this irritating allergies on my body. Grrrr...

Bought this pineapple orchid scent that makes my room smells yummy. I don't eat pineapple yet I like the smell. 

Saw this very cute romper but is way too expensive and out of my budget. And because I bought a gift set perfume, I kinda regret not buying the romper instead of perfume. :(

Hope wen can finalize our flight. Fingers crossed.

Since my mind is on somewhere else, I bought the wrong date for our flight. After paying and everything, I found out that it's a day earlier than our original plan. I want to slam my head on the wall. And if am going to change the dates, I have to pay almost quarter of the original amount that I paid. Good thing Blesie was able to get a new booking for our hotel and I just adjusted the dates on my side.

Haay... Such stupidity is unacceptable. What the hell is happening to me?