news blues

Recently am sporting a new lifestyle. I can say that my previous work gives me a "sheltered life" kind of life. Now am totally independent.

Never once I walk in the morning or get myself sweat before starting to work. Now after almost two weeks in my new work, it's either I have to fight a battle to get a taxi, run to the bus stop to catch the bus or worst, walk till I reach my office.

My house is like 15-20 minutes by walk away from the office. Less if you walk fast. I'm on heels so I can't walk fast unless i want to injure my own feet. Several times I experience walking straight to the office as the bus already left and no taxi can be seen.

This new lifestyle should make me healthy ayt? But hell no. Since I moved here, I can count on my fingers the days that I'm feeling ok. Most of the times, I'm always sick. Either I have a cold, cough, fever or all of them. My voice has been low I miss my old shrieking one.

Rice? Am so missing you. It's not that I can't cook rice, the problem is that I don't have anything to partner to it.

Last night tried to boil some eggs using the rice cooker. Totally forgot about it and it turned out to a very hard boiled eggs.

In the office I'm still in the adjustment period. It's a bit hard coz I need to build their trust on me and my work. Not only on my own department but to other department as well. I still don't remember everybody's name and faces so it's a bit hard for me. My manager is still unresponsive to my presence which I need to work on hardly. I'm just afraid that a point may come and I'll disappoint them (as they know that I'm not new in this field) and their epxectation on me is different.

I already set a goal for myself. And am gonna do whatever it takes for me to get it (of course in a proper way). Determination it is!

Now am off somewhere to gate crash other people's bbq  party.

stressful day

I'm stressed, frustrated, disappointed, worried and I wanted to cry.

Attestation - why you were even been invented after all?

But my question is, why now? Why after all this times? It's more than one month since I submitted all my documents!

So I told her that I wasn't aware that I needed to provide her with the attested one, then she sends me the email she sent to me dated November! November - during the first time I declined the offer.  So in the end, it comes back to me as negligence on my part, wtf!

I'm seriously frustrated to the point that I'm feeling helpless I wanted to cry. I've got no one to blame.

Actually, it will not be a big deal if only I already got my last pay. Atleast I have money to pay for my expenses. But the problem is that I can't get it yet if I don't have my change of status. How am I suppose to pay for my room, the internet charges when I have it disconnected and my food?

Worst is that some people doesn't seem to understand my situation. Instead of offering me some advice, they were like blaming me for resigning as if it's my fault that things like this were happening to me. Wtf!

I can't get out, I can't go to places for short vacation. I have time but I don't have money. And I won't be able to really go out of country as I don't have any visa. Literally, am stucked. Guess house arrest is the appropriate term.

I'm so doomed. And it's depressing like hell.

So far I lose interest to do anything. To the point of not getting out of bed.

So shitty days do really come even when you don't come out of your room.

boring day

I've moved to my new room for days now but I still didn't managed to clean or sort my things. For some reason, I've been sick lately and I cannot move much.

Though I just drank randomly all the medicines I could find in my things, I hope I'll get better tomorrow so I can start sorting all the things I needed to do and do a major cleaning of the room.

I've been taken care of by Rahyan am so touched I wanna cry lah ,wtf. She was even worried about me not eating, well it is a bit common for me to skip meals due to my laziness. I really wanted to go with them to the mall but I feel so sick I don't have the energy to go out. Maybe coz it's too cold yesterday.

Btw, my visa still hasn't come out. Coz of that, I still haven't started my exit clearance and my last pay still on hold. I'm experiencing the same stress I had less than 3 years ago. Haayz...

Anyway, hope I'll get better on friday so I can go out and have fun.

valentines day

Been a while. Got stucked in so many things I barely had time to think what to write.

Moved in my new room on the day of Valentines. Well, didn't expect to have loads of things to shift so I ended up filling the room with so many boxes.

Blesie, Rahyan and Anna came to give a hand but we didn't really do much as we're all lazy to move. Thanks to Rahyan as she's the one who initiates to atleast start something.

Evening we went out and ate some Filipino food. It was good we're all so full. Don't want to stay in a messy room so I slept over at Blesie's.

Next day we baked a strawberry cake with white chocolate frosting. Turned out nice am so happy.

Back to my new room, just spent the first night and I wasn't able to sleep right. Maybe coz I didn't start cleaning that's why the smell is still there. It was basically still dirty and messy, but currently am way too sick to move. I woke up having a nasty cold. I should start cleaning and unpacking but for some reason, I'm feeling so cold had to wear jacket (eventhough I turned off the A/C as I'm really shivering).

I'm hungry...