the uncertainty

Here I am again, feeling lost and uncertain over things around me.

I have this mixed feeling that I don't want to go back to Dubai and just stay here to find a work or return back (which is the most obvious thing that I'm going to do). Honestly speaking, I don't feel like am getting enough rest at night coz am thinking about so many things.

And I only have one week left for my vacation. I didn't go anywhere far (as in out of town) coz I've been busy helping my sister with her wedding, most of my friends are busy, it's always raining (I super hate rain), fear that I'll go beyond my budget and lastly, fear of roaming around alone. I honestly dunno, but I recently got this fear of getting out of the house alone coz my oldies warned me that a lot of mishaps and crimes where happening around the street were we live right now. I lost the nerve to go home late as I always fear that someone might be hiding in the dark waiting for me and do something unbelievable. Heard that the lady living beside us got robbed around 2am by two guys in a motorbike just in front of our gate. Goodness!

So technically, I'm even scared to bring my new phone and my wallet fearing that somebody might snatch my bag along the way or slash my bag unknowingly and will get all my valuables inside my bag. Cannot tahan thinking it. In short, I'm getting so paranoid.

Unlike before, I don't care. I've been to hideous places without fear. I can go home very late, can go to different and far places alone, can ride the public jeepney or bus even sleeping along the way; now I cannot do it anymore. Think am getting coward.

Anyway, my oldies are happier that way. They don't like the idea of me going out alone, they prefer me to stay at home, surfing the net, watching tv shows, looking into my old stuffs or play with Hachiko. Honestly, they treating me like a small kid nowadays and even urging me not to go back to Dubai. Arghhhh....

Got some allergies all over my body that were so super itchy! Super hate it, hope it will go away.

I'm so hopeful for that one thing. Really really pray that some miracle will happen and answer my prayers.

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Quick update for my food diary, we celebrated valentines day at Yakimix in Podium. Had a haircut but didn't like it so I'm thinking of going back to other salon to have a decent haircut. The bangs I'm currently sporting is so unbelievable I look stupid on it.

My first time to eat at Yakimix as I don't normally go to Podium (coz for me it's a useless high end mall that is so small). It's so near in Megamall so why should I bother go there? I only go to Podium to have a haircut. Anyway, Yakimix is a buffet + smokeless grill japanese/korean/filipino food. Food is amazing. Everything were so good. From appetizer to dessert. Am so full I'm having problem walking down the parking lot. No wonder the table queue was so long. we arrived there before 6pm and we're on the waiting list no. 13. Goodness!

Then last night, met my former QR officemates and Annie and had dinner at Zhong at Fort Strip. It's so fun to listen to their non stop stories. Unfortunately, MFC and RE (still had the habit to call them by their amadeus codes) had to go home early. We have to wait for VS then we went to chill at Starbucks in high street.

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Not so sure if I'm going to travel expo at MOA on saturday. It will be just too tempting to see all this goodies and travel promos when I know that it will be impossible for me to travel anymore.

Hope to see Joan again and spend a quality time together again.