Wednesday, April 09, 2014


Been a long time.

I hate to start writing about not so good things though I can say that a LOT of things happen to me recently. I told myself long ago that I'll refrain from doing but if I'll stop it, how can I release all these angst that am feeling? I don't want to talk to people and whine non stop about the bad things that were happening to me, so please excuse me for using this blog as my outlet.

I don't want to think that it's a bad luck for me my decision to move here. I'm trying to focus on good things as I believe life is bound by yin yang. You're not gonna get all the good things at the same time, you also will get the bad things. All you have to do have keep believing in yourself as you're the number one supporter of your ownself.

And I'm no longer a little kid who will cower and hide if things didn't go on my way. Bad days do come to everybody. Okay I do mistakes and decide things hastily, and I'll have to be responsible for that. As much as I hate to admit, currently my self esteem is quite low. I lose all my confidence I tried so hard to build and nowadays I felt worthless. At work I feel very stupid. And I super hate this feeling. I sent an email to my old email and suddenly got teary eyed for missing the old me when I saw the out of office message I left months ago. What a stupid move. It's not that I regret resigning, what upsets me is the current me who's doing stupid stuff and don't think before doing anything.

And the new room I got have free "friends" on it, it really makes me hate to go home no matter how tired I am. It's just that am too fed up to move that I told myself to adjust just now. So most of the time, am walking aimlessly outside to refresh my mind from some sort of stress am having.

Oh yeah, by the way I don't believe in bad luck such as black cat. But this morning saw a pure black kitty near the parking lot and told myself there's no such thing as black cat bad luck. Hellyah, I totally forgot about it but my whole day is shitty. Maybe just a coincidence coz I don't want to blame my bad luck on the poor kitty. 

Tomorrow's thursday. One more day to endure and I'm off for the weekend.  Haay...

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