I already told myself that I will refrain from writing whining or depressing posts but I can't help it.

I'm in a stage where I'm so confused and guilty over so many things and I don't have any outlet. I told myself what the hell if people will see my blog and saw that many of my posts are so negative they will never visit again. So what? I don't care anymore.

Yesterday I almost break down but luckily I was able to hold myself. I feel so guilty I said sorry to him.

Apparently my flatmates found out about my so called promotion I got no choice but to treat them. Then Cathy gave me 2 big cans of redhorse in which am currently drinking that last can. I shouldn't be drinking at this stage but I can't help not to. 

I just wanted to forget and sleep peacefully even for this night.

I'm in so much dilemma. Worst was that I cannot tell it to anybody. And it's freaking hard. I'm crying my heart out but I can't tell it to anyone. 

But I can do this.  I'm strong. I can do this.