Friday morning and I'm already mourning for something I don't know.
You see, I still can't get over about the conversation I had with my boss. Though it's somewhat a not-so-official talk, I got this mixed emotions.
I want to, of course I wanted. But I fear that I may not be able to do it like I wanted it to be. I can, I know I can if I wanted it to be. But I tend to lose my grip over something. And I know it. No matter how much I wanted not to lose something, somewhere somehow, things will not work out just like the way I wanted it to be. And begins to frustrate me.
Anyway, I think I failed them for this "big" challenge that they gave to me. Well, even my own rating is the same. At the end of the day, I always go home frustrated coz of things that didn't work out properly.
I love my manager coz he's like a father figure to us. The only reason why I enjoyed staying in this company is that he let me work the way I wanted and don't command me to do things his way.
Unlike my previous manager in my previous hotel who is a real devil but acts not like one in front of the others. He acts like he wants to support you but doing the other way around. He said "if you need help, ask me". But when you ask for one, he'll tell you that the reason you're asking for help because your incompetent and never supports in whatever you do. So how can you work properly? That's why I hated my work so much back then that I work like a bastard.
Anyway, back to the present situation, I'm so confused.
I've wanted his honest opinion and I got it. But I still want to try.