Friday, December 16, 2011

weekend night

Watched "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol" last night. It was good, I love mission impossible movies. People are clapping when the movie shows the scenes shot at Burj Khalifa. 

It's a nice movie and I had a good time watching it. But the popcorn I ate sucks.

After watching the movie, we went to Niko's place. Not really in the mood to drink, I diverted my attention into eating. I don't want to drink because I know myself. At that moment, if I drink, I know something will happen and only me knows what it is. Haha...

I want to drink, to dance to free my mind from stress. Atleast when I'm in the bar full of people, I can be very drunk, be stupid and be crazy and people will not really know about it. I've been dying to do this for the last weeks. 

I already have plans for this weekend but now I don't know if any of it were going to happen. It's already past two and I'm still in bed, I was suppose to go to somewhere but was way too lazy to get up. We're planning to meet at Niko's place at 5pm, of course I will not go there at 5. I think I'll take another nap then I'll start to move.

Lately, I think am pushing my luck too much. I had a talk with Lisi and he gave me a good advice. I'm actually already doing it, trying to do it, though I'm not so sure if I'm really trying hard to do it. 

Trust is very vital in everything. I just hope he realized before that the reason I got mad at him  was because I felt the lack of trust over me. Which I have completely towards him.

I'll try to return to my old self. Because for the last month, I'm not behaving myself. And I don't like it.

I don't want to make actions or do something that can harm or hurt others again. I should now know my boundaries and don't go overboard at it.

I nearly sent out that message last night. Good riddance I didn't. Instead I sent a different message (which was totally ignored). Otherwise, I will look like a complete idiot.

Before everything was possible. Maybe I got so used to it and now I'm missing it. I miss him and I do really hate to admit it. And it sucks to know that he doesn't feel the same way.

I had a very nice dream last night. But when I woke up, I got so down when I realized that the happiness I felt in my dream will no longer happen in real life. So I tried to sleep again to catch up that dream. But the dream is no longer there.

Hmmmm... I wish I could go home now. I feel so lonely and empty.

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